Archive for the ‘Cruise News’ category

Scientology Ads

July 28, 2009

The L.A. Times reports on the newest batch of glossy, slick commercials for the Scientology corporation.  The business section of the paper looks at the business angle of Scientology.

The Church of Scientology has had a bad couple of years, PR-wise. You could start the damage-control clock running in January 2008 with the release of the Scientology indoctrination video featuring Tom Cruise — you know, black turtleneck, eyes spinning — claiming that Scientologists are the only ones who could really help at an accident scene. This summer the church was tried for fraud in France. In May, Wikipedia said it would ban entries originating from Scientology IP addresses on account of the church’s self-serving wiki-revisionism. And last month the St. Petersburg Times published a devastating four-part expose of Scientology’s tiny tyrant David Miscavige, based on testimony from four former high-ranking executives in the church.

Then there was last week’s Katie Holmes “homage” to Judy Garland on “Dancing With the Stars.” Talk about the scene of an accident

All of which has left the church with a smoldering crater where its public image ought to be. And yet, the church didn’t get to be La-La Land’s Holy See for nothing. In May the church launched a series of new commercials, and they are nothing short of brilliant. Sleek, chill and nonthreatening, these ads are visually beautiful, with a kind of tonal waveform of celestial bliss that invites fellow questers on a journey of self-discovery. “Scientology: Know yourself. Know life,” the tag line runs. Well, who wouldn’t want a piece of that?

The pleasure of these ads derives from their glossy cinematic execution, of course — the cerulean monotones, the exquisite jib camera work, the husky, hunky voice-over, the tranquil soundtrack (think U2 jamming with Vangelis).

But it also must be noted that, finally and surprisingly, the church with the greatest affinity for and proximity to Hollywood has finally turned up a decent branding spot. I mean, these are the people of the exploding volcano.

If these spots were produced in-house, somebody’s thetan deserves a case of beer or something.

Read the full article.


Jim Bailey’s tribute to Judy Garland is a much better recreation of the original number.

Slappy’s Dream

June 28, 2009

Here’s the latest masterpiece from TheEvilof Scientology.

Potty Training Suri Cruise: Part 3

February 2, 2009

From allmuppetcaligula comes the latest chapter in this thrilling saga.  In case you’ve forgotten, in Part One, Katie decided she has had it with Hubbard tech and uses Wog ways to train Suri.  Tom does not take this news well.  He’s about to snap when a noise from outside alerts him to an intrepid reporter.

In Part Two, the chase is on!  And I get to co-star with one of Broadway’s brightest shining stars!

And in Part Three, I am healing my wounds in the hospital when my sweet Magooski arrives to give me a Touch Assist.

I love these videos!

I Like Tom Cruise

January 20, 2009

Really.  I’ve always been a fan.  And this is one of those moments when he does something right.  An Anon asks Tom to sign his V mask and Tom’s security grabs the mask.  Cruise gets it from security and signs it, adding a peace sign.  No drama.  No spectacle.  Well done.

It reminds me of when those TV pranksters squirted him with water from a fake microphone.  He handled that well, asking them why would they do such a stupid thing.    I wish we all could react as well under these circumstances.

Tom Cruise autographed a German Anon's V Mask

Tom Cruise autographed a German Anon's V Mask

Tom Cruise Audits Marc Headley

January 13, 2009

Over at Why We Protest, Marc Headley describes how and why he was brought out to work at Gold and how he wound up being audited by Mr. Top Gun himself.

When I went up to RTC, I was met by an RTC staff member who led me in to see Marty Rathbun. I sat down in front of his desk. He started off by saying that I was one of only two people on the entire base that was qualified to get this auditing! He told me that I was not allowed to tell anybody about my auditing. I was not to tell my co-workers, I was not to tell my family members, nobody. I would be going in session every day and under no circumstances was I to be un-sessionable on any given day. I would be doing this for weeks and I would have to do whatever was needed so that I could go in session at the same time each day. He told me that all of my seniors were briefed that I would be on “study” on a special program and that RTC would be directly overseeing my progress.

This was a lot to swallow in one go. I was a bit shocked by all this, but never the less, I was game. Oh yeah, one other thing, my auditor was going to be Tom Cruise.

The penny dropped. Staff had been working day and night for weeks to get the houses ready where Tom Cruise was going to be staying. He was supposedly coming to stay at the base for several weeks or months and was bringing Nicole Kidman with him. It was all starting to make sense now. Tom Cruise was coming to do his Academy Levels. He was going to do his auditor training and he needed someone to audit and this person had to be very low on the Bridge.

The next day I started going in session with Tom Cruise as my auditor and this went on until he was done with his introductory auditor training.

There’s plenty of fascinating details and it’s one more great reason we should be glad Marc has Blown For Good.

The Complex

December 1, 2008

John Duignan’s new book is an insider’s look at Scientology from a former high ranking member.  He’s garnering a lot of attention, much of it kicked up, of course, by the legal threats from Scientology who are having it barred from sale in the UK just as they did with the Tom Cruise bio from Andrew Morton early in the year.

On Oct. 31, Irish publisher Merlin released “The Complex,” in which John Duignan, identified as “a former high-ranking member” of the church in Britain, describes his “dramatic escape” from its “elite para-military group,” the Sea Organization.  Five days later, Cruise dropped by Amazon’s Seattle headquarters to glad-hand staffers and host a sneak peek at his new movie, “Valkyrie.”

A few days later, Amazon’s British Web site stopped selling “The Complex,” explaining to customers that someone mentioned in the book had alleged it defamed him with “false claims.”

“U.K. law gives us no choice but to remove the title from our catalogue,” Amazon said in a statement.

“I believe Tom Cruise influenced them,” Duignan tells us.

I look forward to reading this book which would make a perfect stocking-stuffer, especially for someone barred from buying it in the UK — or Tom Cruise.  It is available from an Irish bookseller who will ship internationally.

Anonymous Takes Action

DM: Epic Win!

November 10, 2008

The Evil of Scientology has created a masterpiece in this final speech from David Miscavige.