Xenu Was Hiring

There’s a very funny account about how one man was lured into a job interview with Narconon that is a very entertaining and informative read.

I live in East Sussex, which is on the South East coast of England, and my interview with Narconon was on Wednesday morning at one of their main drug rehabilitation centres. The building, a Tudor mansion that is well over one hundred years old, is quite simply magnificent.

I’d arrived a little early and took a moment to sit on a bench outside, soaking up the majesty of the surroundings. Very impressive indeed; must have cost a fortune.

Moments later, somebody came out to see me, and introduced himself. It was Bob, the chap I’d spoken to on the telephone when arranging my interview. We entered the building via the reception – the inside was as pretty as the out – and Bob handed me an application form.

I was taken to another room, and there I met Adam, who was also applying for the position. Bob explained that even though Adam had arrived first we would be interviewing together. The importance of this unity – that Adam and I needed to stay together – was reinforced upon me on several occasions thereafter, to the point where, looking back, I have to wonder if Adam was actually a genuine applicant, or somebody they had used to watch over me. But that’s crazy, paranoid thinking. Right?

I finished the application form and returned it to Bob. Adam followed. Now back in the reception area, I was admiring the beautiful fireplace when I noticed a large, fairly old-fashioned looking book on the mantle. The author’s name grabbed my immediate attention.

L. Ron Hubbard

The book was still shrink-wrapped – it was available for purchase. It’s not unusual to find an association between religion and rehab programs, but this still caught me a off-guard. My mind drifted back to the application, and a section therein that asked if I represented a newspaper or had the intention of writing a story about the facility. I had assumed this was a legal procedure to protect the guests, and I’d ticked the box marked “no.” Hindsight is, of course, 20-20.

Bob then led Adam and myself into a private room, and said we needed to watch a video that explained the history of Narconon. Fine; this was not the first time I’d had to sit through introductory materials for a new job. What Bob neglected to mention, however, was that the video was essentially an introduction to Scientology. Sure, it was mostly about Narconon, but L. Ron Hubbard and/or Scientology were typically given a very specific (and often congratulatory) mention at the beginning of every new scene.

They actually tell him they are paying minimum wage.  How do they break it to you later that, naw, you’re not even going to get that?

Explore posts in the same categories: New Voices

4 Comments on “Xenu Was Hiring”

  1. flippantmage Says:

    What? Minimum wage and scientology counseling? How could any sane person turn that down?

  2. Xenumania Says:

    This is how the recruit. It’s just like the free personality test. During their “sales” pitch, they do not even mention scientology. It isn’t until you go to your free counseling session and free seminar that you might learn that this organization is “scientology.”

  3. dr.fang Says:

    What I found telling was the utter incompetency on the Internet. Kind of a catch-22 there, Mr. Miscavige. You can’t have Scientologists on the internet because of all the entheta material. Yet, you can’t afford to have no internet presence.

    Oh Noes!

    Maybe you could get into the buggy whip business…

  4. mikethemarcabian Says:

    Wow. Any ordinary staff scientologist would absolutely love to be on the minimum wage.


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