Countdown to the TomKat Divorce
Well, it’s happened. Under rainy skies, Tom Cruise has abducted the village virgin and sacrificed her to the evil overlord Xenu. The TomKat wedding was conducted in such a massively opulent manner that it could only be the intergalactic equivalent of one of those arranged marriages between old European royal bloodlines.
“We must unite Teegeeack with our closest allies in this sector of the ga-lax-y to ward off the marauding Marcabian warriors!”
“SO IT SHALL BE!” “SO SAY WE ALL!”
And a desperate princess awaited her fate from high atop the castle tower in which she was trapped. As she scanned the horizon below for any sign of rescue, she could only pray for that last minute arrival of a knight in shining armour.
Alas, it would not be. The virgin princess was doomed to fulfill the contractual obligations of marriage to the diminutive dark lord; a wee man, once beloved but who had lost the affections of the populace once they discovered his erratic behavior.
The people of Teegeeack can now only wait.
Wait for the time when the princess returns to the land of the sane…
…with her hefty pre-nuptual settlement.Explore posts in the same categories: 1